So, the thing is, I have an interview today. This is a good thing, right? For someone whose New Year's resolutions include "clear $20K after taxes and daycare by December 31"? Since last I checked, the best way to come into some money is to, you know, work?
It's a phone interview, so I have my interview station all set up in the back room: a mug of water, a sharpened pencil, my resume. The tableau looks very hopeful. Like I'm actually hoping to get the job.
Here's the thing, though: what I'm really hoping is that I will not bomb the interview, because that would be very unpleasant, but that also I will not get offered the job. What I really hope is that I will miraculously get offered a different job. Perhaps one that doesn't involve jobby things, like bosses.
Because I like to self-sabotage that way. Along comes this job, which is very good, in my field, with decent pay and a good location and definite potential for advancement, and all I can think is how bummed I'll be if I get it.
However, on the plus side: this means I'm not really feeling too nervous. Instead, mostly I feel blank, which could mean that when that phone rings at 11:30 I'll suddenly panic, choke on my tongue, and only be able to say "wow! that sounds really cool! wow!" Or it could mean that I'll be articulate and calm. Who knows? Check in later to find out!